


the problem with platypuses (and other non-mugging related issues)

by hvllanders



Series: interwebs [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Cute Peter Parker, Gay Ned Leeds, Gay Peter Parker, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mugging, Ned Leeds Needs a Hug, Protective Peter Parker, Texting, Whump, interwebs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2020-04-23 17:24:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19155616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hvllanders/pseuds/hvllanders
Summary: the nerdiest of leeds: hey can i call you?def not spider-man: im staking out a guy rn is not a good timedef not spider-man: sorrythe nerdiest of leeds: its fine.def not spider-man: what’s wrong?the nerdiest of leeds: it’s probably nothing***ned x peter x texting x mugging (???)





	the problem with platypuses (and other non-mugging related issues)

**Author's Note:**

> the next few word prompts i was looking at were "comfort" "risk" and "communicate," and somehow this texting fic just kinda poured out. lmk if you enjoyed! your comments always brighten my day <3

imessage conversation

04/23

7:32 pm

 

**the nerdiest of leeds** : hey

**the nerdiest of leeds** : i saw in that screenshot you sent from the gc we’re in w mj that my profile pic on your phone is still that pic of me as like a ten year old in the obi wan costume and like

**the nerdiest of leeds** : i wanted to be mad or embarrassed or something

**def not spider-man** : but you still really vibe with it

**the nerdiest of leeds** : yeah

**the nerdiest of leeds** : yeah i still really vibe with it

**def not spider-man** : whats my pic on your phone?

**the nerdiest of leeds** : …

**def not spider-man** : why do you keep typing and deleting?

**the nerdiest of leeds** : …

**def not spider-man** : it’s still me as spider-man, isn’t it?

**the nerdiest of leeds** : of course not

**the nerdiest of leeds** : :)

**the nerdiest of leeds** : [image of an innocent looking platypus]

**def not spider-man** : im having karen read my texts aloud rn so i can’t see pics

**def not spider-man** : but that better not be the stupid platypus picture you send me all the time

**def not spider-man** : ned!

**the nerdiest of leeds** : hey can i call you?

**def not spider-man** : im staking out a guy rn is not a good time

**def not spider-man** : sorry

**the nerdiest of leeds** : its fine.

**def not spider-man** : what’s wrong?

**the nerdiest of leeds** : it’s probably nothing

**def not spider-man** : what’s probably nothing?

**the nerdiest of leeds** : this guy looks like he’s following me

**the nerdiest of leeds** : he’s prob not tho

**the nerdiest of leeds** : im just feeling sketched out

**def not spider-man** : i’ll come find you

**the nerdiest of leeds** : its cool don’t worry aobut it

**def not spider-man** : listen i can’t talk rn bc im not in a position where i want to be spotted

**the nerdiest of leeds** : that means there’s at least three guys w guns, right?

**def not spider-man** : five actually

**def not spider-man** : but that’s beside the point

**def not spider-man** : just stay where you are ill track your location

**def not spider-man** : ned?

**def not spider-man** : keep texting me

**def not spider-man** : ned?????

**the nerdiest of leeds** : k sorry he’s getting closer

**the nerdiest of leeds** : im like lowkey running rn i don’t think i can text

**the nerdiest of leeds** : do i act casual or do i just start sprinting?

**the nerdiest of leeds** : i suck at springtlksjl;djksj;kd

**def not spider-man** : hang on hang on im almost there

**def not spider-man** : hey

**def not spider-man** : ned

[You’ve missed a call from “ **def not spider-man** ”]

[You’ve missed a call from “ **def not spider-man** ”]

[You’ve missed a call from “ **def not spider-man** ”]

[You’ve missed a call from “ **def not spider-man** ”]

[You’ve missed a call from “ **def not spider-man** ”]

 

imessage conversation

04/24

1:56 am

 

**def not spider-man** : hey, ik you won’t see this until later when you wake up but you’re okay.

**def not spider-man** : thank fucking god

**def not spider-man** : only you would get mugged and not have any cash

**def not spider-man** : only a fucking rey and poe lego figure to give the guy.

**def not spider-man** : i just

**def not spider-man** : please never bleed that much blood on me ever again

**def not spider-man** : like i get that humans are soft fleshy creatures who don’t respond well to knives being shoved into them

**def not spider-man** : but i wont allow that kind of behavior to happen again

**def not spider-man** : anyway

**def not spider-man** : just text me when youre up and feel like it, don’t worry about trying to get back to me too soon

**def not spider-man** : i miss you tho

**def not spider-man** : <3

**def not spider-man** : wake up soon

**def not spider-man** : [image of an innocent looking platypus]

 

imessage conversation

04/25

8:03 am

 

**the nerdiest of leeds** : hey

**def not spider-man** : hey

**the nerdiest of leeds** : hey

**def not spider-man** : hey

**the nerdiest of leeds** : :)

**def not spider-man** : :))))))))

**the nerdiest of leeds** : sorry my mom won’t let me see you

**def not spider-man** : it’s okay

**the nerdiest of leeds** : i mean…it’s not really

**def not spider-man** : it’s a problem for another day

**the nerdiest of leeds** : let’s ft when she leaves the hospital

**def not spider-man** : [thumbs up emoji]

**the nerdiest of leeds** : [thumbs up emoji] [thumbs up emoji] [thumbs up emoji]

**the nerdiest of leeds** : also

**the nerdiest of leeds** : thank you, o great spider-man, for saving me

**def not spider-man** : it’s all part of the job

**def not spider-man** : no but seriously

**def not spider-man** : never do that again

**the nerdiest of leeds** : the get stabbed or the get mugged part?

**def not spider-man** : either

**the nerdiest of leeds** : kk i’ll cross both off my schedule

**def not spider-man** : ha. ha. ha.

**the nerdiest of leeds** : [image of an innocent looking platypus]

**def not spider-man** : omfg you’re impossible

**the nerdiest of leeds** : and yet

**the nerdiest of leeds** : you put up with me

**def not spider-man** : you’re lucky i do

**the nerdiest of leeds** : yeah i am :)

**def not spider-man** : :)

**def not spider-man** : text me when your mom leaves, k?

**the nerdiest of leeds** : k

**the nerdiest of leeds** : [image of an innocent looking platypus]

**def not spider-man** : you’re still impossible

**the nerdiest of leeds** : come on, send one back

**def not spider-man** : no

**the nerdiest of leeds** : maybe [image of an innocent looking platypus] can be our always

**def not spider-man** : omfg

**the nerdiest of leeds** : peter pls i was just stabbed

**def not spider-man** : you’re going to be fine

**the nerdiest of leeds** : please for a dying man

**def not spider-man** : i can’t believe this

**the nerdiest of leeds** : ttyl

**the nerdiest of leeds** : <3

**the nerdiest of leeds** : [image of an innocent looking platypus]

**def not spider-man** : [image of an innocent looking platypus]

 

 


End file.
